Alice Tjitradjaja....

hello my friend nan jauh di sana....di aussie tepatnya...

this blog is just for u... coz it's your birthday!!! yay! u are officially 21..ahhaha...legally adult man!!

since i cant be there celebrating your big day with you, i shld dedicate this blog for you...if i'm not wrong, this is the second blog for you....

haiz...why are you so far away now.... one less friend to whine and complain to...one less friend to entertain and accompany me...

but it's okay, coz i noe i'm gonna see ya again very very soon...i'll make sure i'll mug hard for this exam so that after that when you come we can have fun together... (aduh kok ujung2nya ttg exam)... we shld start planning what you want to do in sg..shopping ampe puas ya!!!hahaha

okie, let's not digress...

alice, hope you are doing fine at aussie, hope u are doing wad you really like.... i hope you are enjoying your life there... jangan setress2.... but of course never forget the rest of us here...hahha

study hard n play hard... keep your creative juice flowing....

altho' i hate to do this, but this is alrd like our birthday tradition, reminding each other of the boyfriend deadline...21 alrd...hahaha... blame it on those who started this deadline thing...who arh who arh?? own up pls...hahha i rmb i was never involve in this. The last thing i noe was that i was already incuded in the "pact" wakakaka

but it's okay, it's just one of those stupid things that we came up with during JC time...lol

haha...i think this post sounds more like personal msg to you ... but i will still publish it!

happy birthday my friend!!!

last but not least....

a struddle for you!!

(ignore the no of candles.... lol...)

Lonelier than ever.. pep talking myself

it's been hell of a week.
things keep coming n flying in towards me.
I kinda feel that i dun have any sense of direction anymore. I'm just doing things just for the sake of doing. I cant even see the meaning of uni life at all. It's just a series of comes and gos...
even friends...i dun even have a fixed group of friends that i usually cling on to...my source of support. i noe this statement is not totally true...but that's the general feeling that i have now...

i find it hard even to discipline myself. i keep running n hiding away from the responsibilities that i'm supposed to face. i just dun have the strength anymore...

i've set target for myself for this sem, to catch up with whatever i've not done well last sem. i know i'm comparing myself too much with others. i noe i shldnt, but it's not a conscious effort, it's just natural to do so. even if you dun want to, u'll be "forced" to. It's really demoralising to see everyone is doing quite well and you are struggling alone... okay, "alone" is not the right word. but yeah, i feel really alone in this. Even if others say they can't make it...can you really trust them? even if you can, can you really define a standard for "cant make it".

i kinda feel that my passion is not really here.. but whatever it is, i wont give up. coz i've found a source of inspiration and motivation...
yesterday i accidentally stumble upon this videos of Justin Timberlake doing his grand performance at Madison Square Garden.
i mean, it's not really about that concert alone...
i'm just in awe of his hardwork n every effort that he put in in all of his performances. To us, singging and dancing on stage may look like a great deal of fun, especially if you are doing it for a living. but i trust that it's not so if you really have to do it everyday, as yor profession. Just like me, doing engineering as my major, which part of it is fun to me? honestly none!...

but after i watched his concert yesterday... i just got very inspired by how he spiced up all his shows. he may be doing the same dance moves over and over again on different stages... but as i follow most of his performances, i always find something unexpected each and every time...
then it gets me thinking to myself... why can't i do the same. The key is: Be professional! Get the best of whatever i'm doing, whether i like it or not... i may not be very good always (especially in comparison to others), but so what...? as long as i've done my very best...i should be satisfied. If it's not good enough, try harder next time... this world is a mean place, but sometimes you are still given more chances to move up the ladder... there's room for everyone..

yeah, feeling really optimistic now...
okies, moral boosted and time to get back to studying...